In the last week or two, I've realized that my child has definitely developed such a sense of humor. She may struggle with writing and talking, but she has MASTERED the art of making people laugh. Just this week, she has came up with some of the wittiest things that makes it impossible to hold back laughter! I had been told in the past that when she is at school she tries to make the other kids laugh. Maybe she's just trying to fit in and find her niche. I may be partial, but my kid is just down right FUNNY!
Kennedy is also getting very curious about Jesus and has been asking lots of questions. I was never very involved in church aside from my real dad taking me to a super scary church so I'm not always sure of the answers she is looking for when she starts talking about God. I'm often stumped on how simple she needs things broken down so that her little mind can understand religion. Even adults have trouble understanding it, how can a 7 year old grasp it at all? Especially with her black-or-white thinking. For instance, we were listening to a song the other day on the Christian radio station and she looked at me and said "We sing this at Living Hope!!!" She was so excited that she recognized it, but then there was a part that said "I will stand upon the truth." Kennedy looked at me and said "I'll stand on the roof??? That is silly!" I tried to explain to her what the Truth was, but I couldn't put it into 7 year old terms apparently. The next song came on the radio.....Hero by Abandoned. The song starts out talking about Jesus walking the dirty streets. Again, she looked over at me and said, "Well that's just silly! Jesus doesn't have feet!" So I tried to explain to her that Jesus did have feet and he once walked on Earth. (Trying to break it down super simple) Then she asked me, "Well why did he walk everywhere?" And I told her that they didn't have cars when Jesus was on Earth. She seemed ok with that answer for a little bit, then said "Well does he have a car NOW??" Hmmm....the questions never end. This drives me to learn more about the Word so that I can teach her what she wants to know. All I can say is that in the last 6 months, I have attained a greater acceptance for our situation with Kennedy and I don't find myself up so late at night worrying about her. Some may say that religion is a crutch for the week. Honestly, my faith has been a firm foundation since I've switched my focus from the temporary struggles of life on earth to more important, eternal things. Don't get me wrong, I still have days where I question "Why?" but I certainly don't feel so alone knowing God is on our side with this.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
The Broken Diamond
(I am always amazed when stories like this just fall into my lap. It's like a little message from God....)
And with that, the broken diamond was carelessly tossed on the jewelers counter. The jeweler glanced at the broken diamond, then gently set it aside.
At the end of the day the jeweler picked up the broken stone and looked at it more closely.
The diamond was indeed damaged.
But there was a certain something about that broken stone that still held the jewelers eye.
Perhaps that's why the original owner kept it safely in her jewelry box for all those years. How could anyone not appreciate the luminous beauty that still burned so brightly within that diamond, the jeweler wondered?
It's the same with people, the jeweler mused. Children can arrive broken too. In this world there are children who are born with Autism, with Down's Syndrome, with Cerebral Palsy. There are so very many things that can suddenly go wrong, and for no apparent reason. Worse, there are so many people who can't begin to see the worth in these children. Families who would just as soon toss their less than perfect children away, without ever really understanding the life and the joy that continues to glow within them.
And then the jeweler thought....But if those children are treated gently and surrounded by love, their true worth, the beauty of their very souls can shine, for all the world to see.
The jeweler picked up the broken diamond again. To me you are very beautiful my little friend. I will surround you with light and I will give you the care you deserve. And then, perhaps we'll see who among us is able to recognize your true worth.
The jeweler worked long into the night and by the time the sun came up the broken stone had become the centerpiece of a what was earlier a beautifully engraved, but otherwise plain antique gold locket. The broken diamond had been set in the center, and was now surrounded by many smaller diamonds.
The jeweler smiled and spoke aloud to the broken diamond. Alright my little friend. You now have a stable home and you can consider yourself surrounded by a circle of love.
The sparkling locket was placed in a luxurious suede box, which joined the other pieces of jewelry in the wonderfully glittering showcase.
Day after day, customer after customer admired the locket and commented on how amazingly beautiful it was, but when the jeweler handed them a magnifying glass and told them to look at it more closely and showed them that the center diamond was broken, most said they only wanted something perfect.
Never mind little one, the jeweler said to the locket, as each box was being packed away in the big safe every night at closing time. The right person will recognize how special you are.
One day a lovely young woman who was wheeling a child's stroller came into the jewelers store. She looked at the shimmering pieces in each of the showcases but nothing seemed to capture her attention.
All at once her eyes lit up.
Is that a locket? she asked, pointing. The jeweler nodded.
That's the most beautiful locket I've ever seen!, she whispered to herself.
May I see it please?, she asked.
The jeweler took the box containing the locket out of the showcase and handed it to the young mother, while explaining about the broken diamond.
But it's so incredibly beautiful, the young woman sighed, as she admired the locket, I look at this and I don't see any damage, I see only the beauty. And look!, she exclaimed with delight, as she opened the locket, There are two frames! I could put pictures of both my husband and my children inside it!.
Suddenly, the handsome little boy in the stroller made a sound. Not a word exactly, but a sound that obviously conveyed meaning to his mother. The woman immediately knelt down and gave him her full attention. After calming him, she gently and lovingly stroked his face.
The jeweler looked at the little boy. What's his name?, the jeweler inquired.
As she told the jeweler the little boy's name, she smiled happily at her son.
It wasn't as though anything was immediatedly apparent, it was more intuition than anything else that led the jeweler to look more closely at the little boy. After a moment the jeweler understood that this was a special child, who had been been blessed with a mother who recognized the beauty of his soul.
The child's mother stood and turned back to the jeweler. I already know I can't afford this, but please tell me how much it is anyway.
The jeweler checked the tag and told her the price. Ouch!, she sighed, as she reluctantly handed the box back. I'm afraid it's way out of my price range, she smiled ruefully, but thank you so very much for showing it to me. There's just something...something about that locket that reaches right into my heart and calls to me.
The jeweler smiled and replied, You have a good eye for beauty.
Thank you, she laughed.
As the woman turned to go, the jeweler thought for a moment. Leave us your name and address and we'll drop you a note if this piece happens to go on sale. Perhaps your husband will stop by one day and tell us he's decided it would make the perfect gift.
I can always dream, the young woman laughed, as she wrote the requested information on a little card.
There had been so much interest in the beautiful locket that the jeweler knew it would sell very soon. Nevertheless, it was now carefully set aside in a corner of the big safe and never returned to the showcase for sale.
One day a man came into the store and told the jeweler he was looking for something very special for his wife, because he thought his wife was very special herself.
The jeweler smiled and invited the young man to share his thoughts.
Tell me why she's special.
The man spoke with pride and love about his wife, and his little girl, and about their very special little boy. She must be very special indeed, the jeweler said.
And what are your children's names? , the jeweler inquired, and the man told him.
The jeweler asked the man to wait a moment, telling him that perhaps the perfect gift might just be sitting in the big safe.
A moment later the locket was placed on the counter as the jeweler dutifully explained about the broken diamond.
The man picked up the box to get a better look.
I don't see any damage, the man said softly, as he examined the locket, I see only beauty.
It was very clear to the jeweler that this family would forever appreciate the beauty and the sparkling life that shone so brightly in the little broken diamond.
The jeweler had already seen first hand how much the pretty young woman and her husband loved and appreciated their special little boy.
This is wonderful locket, the man sighed. It would make my wife so very happy. How much is it?, he asked.
And the jeweler told him.
That price simply can't be right!, said the man in surprise. Don't get me wrong, he said, with a winsome smile and a twinkle in his eye, I'd be thrilled if that really was the price, but I know it can't be. You'd be giving it away at that price, and I don't want to cheat you.
The jeweler just smiled. No, you won't be cheating me. It's just so happens that your timing was perfect. This locket just went on sale.
Wow!, the man said in amazement. He marveled at his good fortune while the jeweler finished gift wrapping his purchase.
Thank you so much! My wife will absolutely fall in love with this locket!, he called to the jeweler as he cheerfully headed out the door.
The jeweler smiled and silently thought, She already has, son.
The Broken Diamond
by Cynthia Gurin
These are the diamonds I inherited, said the customer. I want them combined into a magnificent piece of jewelry. All except this diamond. It's broken. I don't even know why it was kept with the good jewelry in the first place. If it were perfect, I'd keep it, of course. But it's not. It's broken. So I don't want it. Do whatever you want with it.And with that, the broken diamond was carelessly tossed on the jewelers counter. The jeweler glanced at the broken diamond, then gently set it aside.
At the end of the day the jeweler picked up the broken stone and looked at it more closely.
The diamond was indeed damaged.
But there was a certain something about that broken stone that still held the jewelers eye.
Perhaps that's why the original owner kept it safely in her jewelry box for all those years. How could anyone not appreciate the luminous beauty that still burned so brightly within that diamond, the jeweler wondered?
It's the same with people, the jeweler mused. Children can arrive broken too. In this world there are children who are born with Autism, with Down's Syndrome, with Cerebral Palsy. There are so very many things that can suddenly go wrong, and for no apparent reason. Worse, there are so many people who can't begin to see the worth in these children. Families who would just as soon toss their less than perfect children away, without ever really understanding the life and the joy that continues to glow within them.
And then the jeweler thought....But if those children are treated gently and surrounded by love, their true worth, the beauty of their very souls can shine, for all the world to see.
The jeweler picked up the broken diamond again. To me you are very beautiful my little friend. I will surround you with light and I will give you the care you deserve. And then, perhaps we'll see who among us is able to recognize your true worth.
The jeweler worked long into the night and by the time the sun came up the broken stone had become the centerpiece of a what was earlier a beautifully engraved, but otherwise plain antique gold locket. The broken diamond had been set in the center, and was now surrounded by many smaller diamonds.
The jeweler smiled and spoke aloud to the broken diamond. Alright my little friend. You now have a stable home and you can consider yourself surrounded by a circle of love.
The sparkling locket was placed in a luxurious suede box, which joined the other pieces of jewelry in the wonderfully glittering showcase.
Day after day, customer after customer admired the locket and commented on how amazingly beautiful it was, but when the jeweler handed them a magnifying glass and told them to look at it more closely and showed them that the center diamond was broken, most said they only wanted something perfect.
Never mind little one, the jeweler said to the locket, as each box was being packed away in the big safe every night at closing time. The right person will recognize how special you are.
One day a lovely young woman who was wheeling a child's stroller came into the jewelers store. She looked at the shimmering pieces in each of the showcases but nothing seemed to capture her attention.
All at once her eyes lit up.
Is that a locket? she asked, pointing. The jeweler nodded.
That's the most beautiful locket I've ever seen!, she whispered to herself.
May I see it please?, she asked.
The jeweler took the box containing the locket out of the showcase and handed it to the young mother, while explaining about the broken diamond.
But it's so incredibly beautiful, the young woman sighed, as she admired the locket, I look at this and I don't see any damage, I see only the beauty. And look!, she exclaimed with delight, as she opened the locket, There are two frames! I could put pictures of both my husband and my children inside it!.
Suddenly, the handsome little boy in the stroller made a sound. Not a word exactly, but a sound that obviously conveyed meaning to his mother. The woman immediately knelt down and gave him her full attention. After calming him, she gently and lovingly stroked his face.
The jeweler looked at the little boy. What's his name?, the jeweler inquired.
As she told the jeweler the little boy's name, she smiled happily at her son.
It wasn't as though anything was immediatedly apparent, it was more intuition than anything else that led the jeweler to look more closely at the little boy. After a moment the jeweler understood that this was a special child, who had been been blessed with a mother who recognized the beauty of his soul.
The child's mother stood and turned back to the jeweler. I already know I can't afford this, but please tell me how much it is anyway.
The jeweler checked the tag and told her the price. Ouch!, she sighed, as she reluctantly handed the box back. I'm afraid it's way out of my price range, she smiled ruefully, but thank you so very much for showing it to me. There's just something...something about that locket that reaches right into my heart and calls to me.
The jeweler smiled and replied, You have a good eye for beauty.
Thank you, she laughed.
As the woman turned to go, the jeweler thought for a moment. Leave us your name and address and we'll drop you a note if this piece happens to go on sale. Perhaps your husband will stop by one day and tell us he's decided it would make the perfect gift.
I can always dream, the young woman laughed, as she wrote the requested information on a little card.
There had been so much interest in the beautiful locket that the jeweler knew it would sell very soon. Nevertheless, it was now carefully set aside in a corner of the big safe and never returned to the showcase for sale.
One day a man came into the store and told the jeweler he was looking for something very special for his wife, because he thought his wife was very special herself.
The jeweler smiled and invited the young man to share his thoughts.
Tell me why she's special.
The man spoke with pride and love about his wife, and his little girl, and about their very special little boy. She must be very special indeed, the jeweler said.
And what are your children's names? , the jeweler inquired, and the man told him.
The jeweler asked the man to wait a moment, telling him that perhaps the perfect gift might just be sitting in the big safe.
A moment later the locket was placed on the counter as the jeweler dutifully explained about the broken diamond.
The man picked up the box to get a better look.
I don't see any damage, the man said softly, as he examined the locket, I see only beauty.
It was very clear to the jeweler that this family would forever appreciate the beauty and the sparkling life that shone so brightly in the little broken diamond.
The jeweler had already seen first hand how much the pretty young woman and her husband loved and appreciated their special little boy.
This is wonderful locket, the man sighed. It would make my wife so very happy. How much is it?, he asked.
And the jeweler told him.
That price simply can't be right!, said the man in surprise. Don't get me wrong, he said, with a winsome smile and a twinkle in his eye, I'd be thrilled if that really was the price, but I know it can't be. You'd be giving it away at that price, and I don't want to cheat you.
The jeweler just smiled. No, you won't be cheating me. It's just so happens that your timing was perfect. This locket just went on sale.
Wow!, the man said in amazement. He marveled at his good fortune while the jeweler finished gift wrapping his purchase.
Thank you so much! My wife will absolutely fall in love with this locket!, he called to the jeweler as he cheerfully headed out the door.
The jeweler smiled and silently thought, She already has, son.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
It's Been A While
It's been a busy summer in our house so needless to say, I've not had much time to blog. Last month, we took Kennedy on her first vacation and went to Gulf Shores. It was definitely a fun time and we enjoyed seeing Kennedy's face the first time she saw the beach! She was overwhelmed and SO VERY excited! We returned to celebrate Kennedy's 7th birthday on June 13th. Where does the time go?? We had a small cookout at our house with some friends and she had a great time celebrating her big day. She even made her own birthday cupcakes at her request! Talk about an independent little girl! :)
After returning from the beach, it was a difficult time for me as I began to think about Kennedy going to 1st grade. Everyone has told me it's such a big jump from Kindergarten to 1st grade and I'm just worried about Kennedy. You'd think over time I could get used to the fact that things don't come as easily for Kennedy as they do for other kids and yet, I constantly go through the vicious grief cycle over and over and over and over...... it never stops. I could go into specifics on this, but I'm just not quite ready to throw it all out there into cyber space. Let's just say, I found a fabulous friend who has let me cry, vent, and complain to her and I am so very thankful for her.
Last week, Kennedy went for a check up at Vanderbilt and had a great visit. She had been taking two different seizure medicines, Keppra and Depakote, three times a day, but because her seizures were starting to slow down (1 year since a complex partial seizure!), they decided to switch her to the Depakote Sprinkles (which are given twice a day) and stop the Keppra completely--- all depending on her blood work they drew that day. So we go to the lab and Kennedy hopped up in the char, refusing my mom or myself to sit down first so she can sit in our lap. She's 7 now, so apparently she doesn't need to sit in anyone's lap for comfort. However, she did scream a bit when she was poked, but quickly calmed herself down once she saw the purple butterfly band aid they offered her. lol
On Monday, I called for the results and was told that her Depakote levels were great so they wanted to switch her to the Depakote Sprinkles so that she only has to take medication twice a day. The nurse also told me to stop the Keppra completely the same day. Okay, now we've had lots of medication changes in our 6 1/2 years of seizures, but never have we stopped a medicine cold-turkey. But I figure the doctor knows what he's doing, although he wanted to take her off the Keppra which was the only medication that had controlled her complex-partial seizures for the last year. The Depakote had only been added to her list of medication because of her absence seizures (which basically means she spaces out for a few seconds and then is back to good). So Monday night, we began the new medication regimen.
This morning around 10:30, I received a call from the sitter on the church phone. I knew Kennedy was going to jump in the bouncy house at church this morning, but I knew that something was wrong-- I just felt it. The sitter told me that Kennedy had apparently had a seizure and needed to know what to do. Because Kennedy's seizures change so often, I immediately went to the church to find Kennedy laying in the floor, still having a seizure. Grand total of about 7 minutes. I decided to take her to the emergency room at Greenview to have her checked out because even in the past, she's never had a seizure to last that long. And I find it very hard to believe that she just HAPPENED to have a seizure two days after we stopped taking the Keppra--which was the medicine that actually worked!
So....we go straight through to an exam room in the ER and they immediately wanted to do blood work so that they could check the Depakote level in her system. Kennedy was so out of it, she cried a little, but for the most part didn't really care what the nurses were doing to her. Fortunately, Kennedy's wonderful nurse used a tub that could be left in her arm in case they needed more blood or needed to give her medication. That came in handy when Kennedy began vomitting and filled up 3 or 4 pans of vomit in a matter of seconds. Poor little thing kept saying she felt she needed to throw up and kept covering her little mouth to catch the vomit. Gross?--yes, pitiful?--definitely! The doctor immediately ordered some phenegran for her belly and they hooked it up through the IV in her arm. Not long after they started the medicine, she was sound alseep. The doctor attempted to get in touch with Vanderbilt for 2 hours without a call back so they released us to go home and told me that Vanderbilt would be calling me regarding the medicine.
When they began to remove Kennedy's IV, she looked up at the nurse and said in the tiniest voice, "Don't hurt me!" I felt so bad for Kennedy. By this point, she had life coming back to her eyes and asked me where she was. Apparently she didn't remember anything except being in the bouncy house this morning. We left the hospital and Jeremy went to pick up some lunch because we were starving and Kennedy and I driving home when she looked at me and said "I think a Happy Meal would make my belly feel better." I know she had been sick, but I just could not turn it down. She could have asked for anything at that point and I would have given it to her. So Jeremy also picked her up a Happy Meal. She ate two nuggets, drank some sprite then layed down in my bedroom for a while. About an hour ago, she came into the living room and started to become very chatty.
I finally got a call back from Vanderbilt and was told to increase the Depakote sprinkles from 2 pills to 3 pills twice a day. I argued with the lady that I'd prefer to have her back on Keppra because that was the only medicine that has controlled these types of seizures. She said she could send the doctor a note, but that this was what he wanted to do. I don't think those people understand that I can deal with giving medicine 3 times a day (they are the ones that are convinced giving meds twice a day will be easier) if it means she won't have these seizures. She can have absent seizures and we'll deal with it because she bounces back in a few minutes. Complex partial seizures take her at least one day to recover if not two days. We cannot be having these when school is back in session. But the nurse from Vanderbilt told me to call in a week with a report and to give it about a week for her to be seizure-free. Seriously?? That's not good enough for me. I am so utterly irritated with them right now, but I am thankful that Kennedy is starting to perk back up. Guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens--and send up LOTS of prayers that Vanderbilt will get these seizures under control ASAP!
After returning from the beach, it was a difficult time for me as I began to think about Kennedy going to 1st grade. Everyone has told me it's such a big jump from Kindergarten to 1st grade and I'm just worried about Kennedy. You'd think over time I could get used to the fact that things don't come as easily for Kennedy as they do for other kids and yet, I constantly go through the vicious grief cycle over and over and over and over...... it never stops. I could go into specifics on this, but I'm just not quite ready to throw it all out there into cyber space. Let's just say, I found a fabulous friend who has let me cry, vent, and complain to her and I am so very thankful for her.
Last week, Kennedy went for a check up at Vanderbilt and had a great visit. She had been taking two different seizure medicines, Keppra and Depakote, three times a day, but because her seizures were starting to slow down (1 year since a complex partial seizure!), they decided to switch her to the Depakote Sprinkles (which are given twice a day) and stop the Keppra completely--- all depending on her blood work they drew that day. So we go to the lab and Kennedy hopped up in the char, refusing my mom or myself to sit down first so she can sit in our lap. She's 7 now, so apparently she doesn't need to sit in anyone's lap for comfort. However, she did scream a bit when she was poked, but quickly calmed herself down once she saw the purple butterfly band aid they offered her. lol
On Monday, I called for the results and was told that her Depakote levels were great so they wanted to switch her to the Depakote Sprinkles so that she only has to take medication twice a day. The nurse also told me to stop the Keppra completely the same day. Okay, now we've had lots of medication changes in our 6 1/2 years of seizures, but never have we stopped a medicine cold-turkey. But I figure the doctor knows what he's doing, although he wanted to take her off the Keppra which was the only medication that had controlled her complex-partial seizures for the last year. The Depakote had only been added to her list of medication because of her absence seizures (which basically means she spaces out for a few seconds and then is back to good). So Monday night, we began the new medication regimen.
This morning around 10:30, I received a call from the sitter on the church phone. I knew Kennedy was going to jump in the bouncy house at church this morning, but I knew that something was wrong-- I just felt it. The sitter told me that Kennedy had apparently had a seizure and needed to know what to do. Because Kennedy's seizures change so often, I immediately went to the church to find Kennedy laying in the floor, still having a seizure. Grand total of about 7 minutes. I decided to take her to the emergency room at Greenview to have her checked out because even in the past, she's never had a seizure to last that long. And I find it very hard to believe that she just HAPPENED to have a seizure two days after we stopped taking the Keppra--which was the medicine that actually worked!
So....we go straight through to an exam room in the ER and they immediately wanted to do blood work so that they could check the Depakote level in her system. Kennedy was so out of it, she cried a little, but for the most part didn't really care what the nurses were doing to her. Fortunately, Kennedy's wonderful nurse used a tub that could be left in her arm in case they needed more blood or needed to give her medication. That came in handy when Kennedy began vomitting and filled up 3 or 4 pans of vomit in a matter of seconds. Poor little thing kept saying she felt she needed to throw up and kept covering her little mouth to catch the vomit. Gross?--yes, pitiful?--definitely! The doctor immediately ordered some phenegran for her belly and they hooked it up through the IV in her arm. Not long after they started the medicine, she was sound alseep. The doctor attempted to get in touch with Vanderbilt for 2 hours without a call back so they released us to go home and told me that Vanderbilt would be calling me regarding the medicine.
When they began to remove Kennedy's IV, she looked up at the nurse and said in the tiniest voice, "Don't hurt me!" I felt so bad for Kennedy. By this point, she had life coming back to her eyes and asked me where she was. Apparently she didn't remember anything except being in the bouncy house this morning. We left the hospital and Jeremy went to pick up some lunch because we were starving and Kennedy and I driving home when she looked at me and said "I think a Happy Meal would make my belly feel better." I know she had been sick, but I just could not turn it down. She could have asked for anything at that point and I would have given it to her. So Jeremy also picked her up a Happy Meal. She ate two nuggets, drank some sprite then layed down in my bedroom for a while. About an hour ago, she came into the living room and started to become very chatty.
I finally got a call back from Vanderbilt and was told to increase the Depakote sprinkles from 2 pills to 3 pills twice a day. I argued with the lady that I'd prefer to have her back on Keppra because that was the only medicine that has controlled these types of seizures. She said she could send the doctor a note, but that this was what he wanted to do. I don't think those people understand that I can deal with giving medicine 3 times a day (they are the ones that are convinced giving meds twice a day will be easier) if it means she won't have these seizures. She can have absent seizures and we'll deal with it because she bounces back in a few minutes. Complex partial seizures take her at least one day to recover if not two days. We cannot be having these when school is back in session. But the nurse from Vanderbilt told me to call in a week with a report and to give it about a week for her to be seizure-free. Seriously?? That's not good enough for me. I am so utterly irritated with them right now, but I am thankful that Kennedy is starting to perk back up. Guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens--and send up LOTS of prayers that Vanderbilt will get these seizures under control ASAP!
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